Two days now, and a lot has happened already. A lot of good, and earlier today I was planning to write an amazing sunshine story. That was then! So, let's go backwards, from this evening.
It has been a while since last time, and in the meantime, Maja is growing! She is now approaching 20 kilos. She is still small, but muscular. She is still nice (!), but stubborn. She is learning a lot and fast, but is still a bit disobedient! She is getting more and more interested in other dogs, and as she is growing, her attitude changes: she is not any longer the little, shy doggie.
And afterwards, all kinds of thoughts.. Shame. Fear. Furious anger. Damn dog. Shitty dog. No, good dog. BAAAAD owner!What if I had lost her? What did I do wrong? In a way, I feel that I didn't. Don't most dogs run away at some point? And I released her at a place where she is used to walking, and she usually stays close to me. At the same time, once a jury member in a vocal competition said to me: "I disliked you from the moment you came on stage". Here, a dog trainer would probably say the same: "You started failing the moment you let her out the door". Maybe?
1) I had been away for three hours.
2) The moment we went out, we played with a neghbor dog. That got her a bit excited.
3) I played with her some more. Maybe that stirred her up?
4) She was hungry. I wonder if she looses her concentration when she is hungry?
5) It was dark, and it seems to me like it is MUCH harder for her to keep her concentration when it is darker!
6) Running after her and screaming just pushed her on. But what WAS I supposed to do, then?
After that, needless to say, the evening felt a bit... strained.... After two days of bonding, happiness, no worries and friendship. This evening the small feeling of "I don't know what to do" has crept back. Still, it cannot be so bad - she lies sleeping in bed beside me now. And tomorrow I'll tell the happy stories :)
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