Maja & Me home alone.. Soon there :)

Today we went to the vet.. I am actually a bit proud that I am handling this all on my own ;) Poor dog, she was shaking with fear when we came in. A shot of sedatives made her disappear in less than ten seconds. I almost felt strange to hold her these seconds and to feel her go from being so tense to being so relaxed. You could really feel how all the muscles let go... I couldn't help watching her breath very closely for a while afterwards, it was almost scary to see her so gone. Then x-ray pictures, and to our great joy, the specialist decided that she won't need an operation for now :) :) :)

We have to look out for her knee a little bit, because it is a bit loose, but unless something special happens, she can get away with some medicine.. That is fantastic :)

I carried her out while still sedated - 20 kilos of totally relaxed dog actually feels heavy :) It took her quite some time to get to her senses again, when she woke up she was like a drunk man - head waving from side to side and a rather shaky walk :) I went out for a concert in the evening, and when I came back she had totally woken up.. Obviously ;) I changed bag in the vacuum cleaner before I left. Stupidly enough, I had left some bags on the table. Bad mistake ;) Maja had found them an ripped them all in to tiny, tiny little pieces that were spread all over the floor. Happiness :) She met me with a huge smile, high tail and a ton of energy that needed to be used :)

Sometimes hopes and prayers are not totally enough. We went to the vet yesterday, and it turns out that Maja probably has ruptured some ligaments in the left back knee. We are going to specialist on Thursday, and most probably she will also be operated then. Well, what to say.. Shit happens? It could have been worse: it is an accident and not breed related, which would have been worse. Also, she'll be out of active business for while, but weather is horrible anyway, with lots of dirty ice and snow everywhere. It is really difficult to walk outside, both for those without claws and those with :) Now that first vet visit is over and it is clear what the problem is, it somehow feels better, even if it of course would have been much better without all this..
I am away for a concert in another town today, and I had to place Maja at some musicians friends of ours. They had the most incredible dog, a huge white breed which I don't remember the name of, but the dog died of cancer this summer. It was the second dog they lost. They are fantastic dog lovers and fantastic dog owners. I was still a bit reluctant to ask them, though, but she screamed of joy when I asked they could have Maja for a day. She came over yesterday to get to know Maja a little better, and Maja immediately fell in love with both her and the little playing ball she brought over. She picked up Maja today after I had left and sent me a happy message from their walk in the forest. She phoned one of my concert colleagues later and told that the whole family had fallen for Maja, including the cat, that was walking happily around, purring, enjoying finally having a dog in the house again  Oh, I would have loved to be there to see that. Maja loves the old, war-worn cat of our neighbor, but I am not so sure that the love is mutual. She stays one meter away, and that is the safety distance. Closer than that, and I am sure that her nose will get a close smell of cat-claws and blood. But to see Maja and a cat play together would be a joy – maybe they have taken pictures ? :)
These days, even with their small share of worries and wondering, have been truly nice, and much, much better than I hoped for. I'll be honest: a part was a bit hoping that the time would go really, really fast, because this would be awkward. And that thought made me wonder if I at all am a dog person. I have always loved and adored dogs, but maybe I am not the right person to have one ? But this – so far – one week has been a joy. She is so patient with me when I have to work, but then after a while she makes it really clear that she really, REALLY would like to go for a walk  To walk with her is sometimes frustrating , when she for some reason – tiredness or pain or smells? – looses concentration and focus, but mostly such a joy. For a part of our walk she runs loosely, in front of or behind me, checking out the environment and all the smells that re-appear in a thaw. Then, for a part, she walks concentrated on my side, eagerly awaiting the piece of cheese she knows she gets if she walks by my left foot on loose leash. And the last part – when she is tired but happy, she walks head and tail high and chest out in the lead to come home.. Home; food, she brings me toys so we can play for a while, and then rest.. Repeat all a while later :) Then in the evening, more playing, sleeping on the floor, I go to bed, she lies beside me. I turn off the light and a minute or two later I hear one or two deep sighs beside me and then rhythmical sleep. ”Okonchen prazdnij, shumnij den”.. Good night :)

Maja & Me - Home alone - Problems in paradise

Quarter past two at night, and I am lying in bed with my computer. Maja is sleeping beside me.. Being a "single dad" is not the easiest thing, I am trying to balance doing my job (down to 50% these 2 weeks), preparing for concerts, of which I have many big ones these two weeks, and taking care of Maja.

Tuesday and Wednesday we went to Jurgita's parents. Maja usually loves to go there, it's ore people and more activity there than here, and in general more fun. Not so much this time. I think she expected to find Jurgita there, because she really acted a bit sad and depressed while we were there, restless even in her sleep.

And problems have appeared: When I stopped her from chasing another dog the other day, I might have hurt her when I landed on her. I noticed on Tuesday that her left hind leg was a bit stiff, especially when she was walking in stairs, and she didn't want to go for longer walks. That has made me a bit worried.. I keep looking and looking for a limp, to the point where I am not sure if I am making it up or not. It was really there, but it got better up until today. This evening we were playing a little bit on the floor. She must have twisted her leg again while playing, because suddenly she started yelping really loud and started limping really badly. For a long time afterwards she was panting really heavily, I guess because of pain. So, tomorrow we'll go to the vet again. I really hope she'll be fine. There are many times when I notice how strongly attached I am to her - and this is the good thing about being alone with her for two weeks, we are really "bonding" - it is when we are having a nice play together or a really great and funny walk, or - like this - when something hurts her. It can be physical pain or missing mummy. I really want to pick her up, comfort her and make all the bad things go away. Because that is what a parent is for!

Maja & Me - Home alone II

One of the nicest and most joyful things about walking with Maja is to see people's reactions. There are lots of dogs in Vilnius, but not so many are walked in the city streets, and there aren't many white golden retrievers.

Usually people start smiling when they see her, many say a little "what a sweet little doggie" when they pass her, and some give her the hand to sniff. Quite some have stopped me to ask what kind of dog she is, how old she is. Especially children like to have a small chat with her, and Maja herself is completely mesmerized by children. She can watch children playing for a loooong time.  I hope that my girlfriend won'r read this, but I am sure she could be used as a really good dating trick ;)

But on of the nicest meetings was yesterday. Our neighborhood has some - how to say it - more tired characters. Both among dogs and among people, that is. And it is these persons that usually try to avoid Maja. I can easily imagine that they have had their unhappy episodes with dogs..

We met one of them yesterday, on our way home from the shop. He was sitting at a street corner on a chair that he had dragged there. Maja was a bit hesitating - it was dark and she is not used to someone sitting there. "Nothing to be afraid of," he said. "I don't bite". We walked up to him, and then he became a little hesitant. "But maybe she will bite me?" I assured him that Maja does not bite anyone! And to prove my point, she went to him for a scratch. "THAT kind of dogs I like," he said. Then he talked a little bit about the cat that he once had but that someone had killed. Then he scratched Maja a bit more, we said politely good night and we walked home..

Life can sometimes be amazingly unfair to humans, dogs and cats. It is important sometimes to know that a dirty dog can still be a really nice one, and I went home really glad that Maja had maybe brought some few moments of contact and joy to someone.

Maja & Me - Home alone 1

Maja's mummy - Jurgita - is away for two weeks on a business trip, so I am left alone with Maja for two weeks. It is scary :) No, seriously, it really is. Right after we got Maja, I went away for two weeks, so Jurgita bonded with her at a very important time. Also - Jurgita has had dogs before - she is a natural WITH EXPERIENCE - while Maja is my first dog. I feel like I am still learning how to.. hmm.. "deal" with dogs :) I don't think there is any doubt that Maja is a bit closer to Jurgita than to me, but here we are.. Maja and me.. Home alone. Will we sit and stare at each other, or is this a chance for bonding? :)

Two days now, and a lot has happened already. A lot of good, and earlier today I was planning to write an amazing sunshine story. That was then! So, let's go backwards, from this evening.

It has been a while since last time, and in the meantime, Maja is growing! She is now approaching 20 kilos. She is still small, but muscular. She is still nice (!), but stubborn. She is learning a lot and fast, but is still a bit disobedient! She is getting more and more interested in other dogs, and as she is growing, her attitude changes: she is not any longer the little, shy doggie.

I was out for three hours today, came home at 7 and took her out for walk number two. We went to a park nearby - we walk there a lot - and in the park I unleashed her. Then - voila - outside the park, on the other side of the street, a loose dog hanging around. Then Maja did something that she has never done before: she ran away from me and started chasing the other dog down the street. She was totally out of control, running ahead with me running after her and screaming like H***. It was pure luck that no cars came, I am pretty sure that could have ended in disaster! After a while, she turned and ran back to me, but she was so "hyper" that she actually just ran past me. I spun around and threw myself on her. Threw, really, so I landed on top of her. There I lied for a minute or so - pinning her to the ground, scolding her first and then trying to calm her down. God.. And staring people around, it must have been quite a circus!

And afterwards, all kinds of thoughts.. Shame. Fear. Furious anger. Damn dog. Shitty dog. No, good dog. BAAAAD owner!What if I had lost her? What did I do wrong? In a way, I feel that I didn't. Don't most dogs run away at some point? And I released her at a place where she is used to walking, and she usually stays close to me. At the same time, once a jury member in a vocal competition said to me: "I disliked you from the moment you came on stage". Here, a dog trainer would probably say the same: "You started failing the moment you let her out the door". Maybe?
1) I had been away for three hours.
2) The moment we went out, we played with a neghbor dog. That got her a bit excited.
3) I played with her some more. Maybe that stirred her up?
4) She was hungry. I wonder if she looses her concentration when she is hungry?
5) It was dark, and it seems to me like it is MUCH harder for her to keep her concentration when it is darker!
6) Running after her and screaming just pushed her on. But what WAS I supposed to do, then?

After that, needless to say, the evening felt a bit... strained.... After two days of bonding, happiness, no worries and friendship. This evening the small feeling of "I don't know what to do" has crept back. Still, it cannot be so bad - she lies sleeping in bed beside me now. And tomorrow I'll tell the happy stories :)

Winter play

In motion :)